How I Feel
by HoT.aGaiNsT.a.WaLL
Summary: Angry. Shocked. Happy. All great words to describe how I'm feeling. D/J. Josh's POV.


**Disclaimer:** Don't own it, and I never will. At least I don't _think_ I will. Ya never know…

**Warning**: This is a fic where a boy is into another boy!!! Just thought you'd like to know.

**Author's Note:** I was messaging xXxSunEntwinedxXx when we kinda came up with this idea together. I decided to write it up. Hope you all enjoy it! :D

_--Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake--_

Angry. That's one word for what I'm feeling right now as I'm whipping down the counters at The Première. _Pissed as all hell_ would be a _great_ phrase to describe my feelings. But somehow… it just doesn't _quite_ cover it. Fuming mad, maybe… Nope. Still not strong enough.

Now, one could ask, "Why Josh? Why are you so angry?"

And I'd simply point to the stupid, chestnut haired player off in the corner of the rather large room. But the magic of being me is? No one notices when I'm mad. I'm either just _that good_ at covering it up, or people just tend not to notice me. I tend to go with the latter. So, why am I mad at said chestnut haired teen? Because he's my boyfriend, and _no one_ knows.

Oh, and the fact that he keeps flirting with every girl around him. Which is a lot, a _lot,_ of girls and a _lot_ of flirting. And I don't mean those average lots that you sometimes drive by, and there's nothing inside. No, I mean a lot as big as the malls and as full as on the day before Christmas. See? That's a _lot_! And I think I've been cleaning the same spot on the counter for, like, the past five minutes.

"You're gonna put a hole in the counter top," A voice mutters from behind me, and I twist around to glare coldly at Crazy Steve.

"I _know_ that," I hiss and Steve puts his hands up in mock surrender.

Heaving a deep sigh, I turn back around and rub harder at the spot that just _won't_ come up. Eyebrows furrowed in concentration, I almost don't notice as Drake (the chestnut haired bastard) walks up. His smirk is cockier than usual, and he has his arm slung around some petite blonde's shoulders. You'd think he would be a little less in-your-face about it, but _no_. Even though we'll be moving within the month, he _has _to keep his image up. Going to college and all that. Stupid Drake…

"Hey Joshie," He grins, leaning against the counter top, distracting me from the very _important_ job of getting the stain up. "Can you get me and…"

"Leslie," She supplies her name for him, not even bothered by the fact that Drake couldn't remember it.

"Leslie," He smiles down at her, and then turns back to me, his brown eyes twinkling. "Some popcorn and soda?"

I almost say no, but Drake gives me a kind of _urging_ look. So I nod with a false grin, and Drake doesn't even see the difference. Scooping some popcorn into a large paper bag before setting it on the counter to get his favorite drink. Because I know what it is. Because he's my _boyfriend_. My _secret_ boyfriend. And when I turn around to give it to him, he's flirting with Leslie; tipping her chin up with his hand so that she'll meet his eyes—

And _damn it!_ I've had _enough_!

Suddenly, I'm standing right in front of them, and my face must give away to rage inside because Drake has a big frown on his lips. I hesitate for a second at that, but then I see the way Leslie keeps glancing at him. Nope, sorry Drake, too pissed to care if you care. Peeling the lid away from the top of the Styrofoam cup, I dump it's contents over that chestnut hair of his. The reddish brown hair that I tend to thread my fingers through is matted down against his forehead with the weight of the fizzy liquid, and I give him a bitter smile.

"Josh, what the hell?" He looks outraged, and it's funny because that's how I felt only moments ago. Now, not so much.

"Think about it Drake," I growl and glare into his eyes. "Think _real_ hard. I'm sure you'll get it soon enough."

Helen comes out, and her eyes go wide at the site. She's yelling at me, but I really can't hear it as I'm tearing off my vest and storming from the movie theater.

_--Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake—_

Shocked. Surprised. All great words. Wonderful fantastic words to describe what I'm feeling _now_. Because Drake is standing there, or he _was_ standing, and now he's kneeling. On one knee. And I think I have to sit down… My knee's buckle and I fall back into a cushioned seat that somehow magically appeared there. Crazy Steve is holding the back of it, and knowing smirk on his lips as Drake digs in his pockets for something.

"Drake," I gasp out and glance around because _everyone_ is staring. Because this is The Première, and I still work here even after last weeks out burst. I hadn't talked to him in all that time, hadn't spoken a single word until this moment, and now I think I'm too stunned to say anything else.

"Josh," He chuckles at my awed expression as he pulls out a little box. "I know you might still be mad, and I'm sorry for being so careless about your feelings… But if you're willing to forgive me—"

"I forgive you," I squeak, and nod my head as he takes my left hand in his.

He laughs softly, and so does the audience that surrounds us. Blushing furiously, I lean forward and whisper, "You don't have to do this. You don't have to prove anything to me Drake."

"I know," He smiles bright, and I feel a little flutter in my gut because _damn_ I love him… "I want to. I'm sick of all the hiding. Josh…"

"Yes," I snap a reply, not even letting him ask.

"Let me finish," He chortles and I heave an exasperated sigh. "Josh, will you marry me?"

Gulping, I can't speak all of a sudden. Can't say a damned word. My lips tremble a bit, and my eyes tear up and I nod my head rapidly. Drake finally pulls out a small little box and pops it open to reveal and silver band. I go to pluck it out, but he hits my hand away and does it for me, sliding the ring into place on my hand. I let out a shaky breath and he pulls me into a soft kiss. In front of everybody. And they clap. Like they've been waiting for it or something.

Hell, maybe they have.

Happy. Elated. All great words to describe how I'm feeling right now…

_--Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake---Josh---Drake--_

**Review please! Much love,**

**~TaRa**


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